William—Remembered by Classmates

At school, William's classmates are honoring him and building awareness in September with Suicide Awareness Week. Check out the comment from his friend Maegen. I think it's important to build awareness with teens as they are the majority affected by depression and suicide.

Remembering William

William has been living it up in heaven for 4 months and 23 days. While I am super excited for him to be experiencing the presence of God, I am a little jealous that he is there before me. The Bible tells us that heaven is a place of no worries, no wants and and complete peace. I am grateful that he can have that now. While there are no guarantees that life on earth will be without pain, it makes us long for the promises of heaven even more.

Back here on earth, we miss him like crazy. We want him to return and hope that he'll just show up and we can go back on with normal. I never understood what permanency was until I couldn't call or see him any more. That there is absolutely no way to undo what has happened. It's not like getting upset with someone and trying to make amends and they avoid your phone calls. It's not like he went away to college and will be back for Christmas break. He's never coming back. He'll never be at another family function. This is forever. Coming to terms with this is hard, but the good news is that I know that I will see him again. He'll be able to give me my tour of heaven and I can't wait!

As I think about my little brother and all the things we did together, our family moments and the things that were important to him, I am reminded of a time when he wanted to participate in Out of the Darkness—a walk sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. He and mom were supposed to do that walk together. Earlier this summer we (Lauren, Jillian, PJ and I) played on a softball team in memory of William because he'd wanted to play. This October family members and I will be walking in the Out of the Darkness walk in memory of William.

What is it?
A walk to save lives. In the United States, a person dies by suicide every 16 minutes, claiming more than 32,000 lives each year. It is estimated that an attempt is made every minute; with close to one million people attempting suicide annually. By walking in the 2008 Out of the Darkness Community Walks to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), you will be walking with thousands of people nationwide to raise money for AFSP's vital research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives, increase national awareness about depression and suicide, and assist survivors of suicide loss.

If you are interested, there are two ways you get get involved. The first is walking with us on October 4 at Busse Woods in Elk Grove Village (just east of Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg). You can register on the Out of the Darkness Website. The second way to get involved is to support us by donating to our fundraising goal.

Out of the Darkness
URL	Out of the Darkness Website
Date	Saturday, October 4
Walk Time	11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.
Check-in Time	10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.
Location	Busse Woods in Elk Grove Village, IL
Registration Cutoff	Friday, October 3
Our Team Name	William J. Hartmann II
Participation Packet	More details are available in this PDF

My personal fundraising goal is set at $500 right now. If you would like to sponsor me and make a donation through December 31, 2008, you can by clicking on: make a donation. You can also submit a check made payable to AFSP.

We are truly grateful for all of your support, whether a listening ear, a word of encouragement, lifting us up in prayer, or through your participating in Out of the Darkness in memory of William. Thank you!

Love,
Monica and family

Bet you'll never guess what we had for dinner ...

Okay, so you got us. We waited forty minutes in line to get two free burritos and drinks. Was it worth the wait? Ryan says, "Absolutely!" Since it was on our way home it worked out great. There were a lot of families in line. You waited in one line to get your food, then had to get in another one at the fountain drink machine to fill up your cup. Chipotle had a sign in their window that read: Burritos 100% Off! and there was an ice cream truck parked right out side the door. Somehow I doubt that was part of Chipotle's marketing, but I suppose it didn't hurt. It was a fun time to welcome Ryan's favorite restaurant in to town. Now he'll just have to save his allowance money so he can pay for his next burrito. :)

Will they serve burritos in heaven?

For Ryan, he sure hopes so! This Wednesday is free burrito day at the new Crystal Lake Chipotle. Incase you're in the area, here are the details from the NW Herald.

Chipotle is hosting a free-food day Wednesday in celebration of its newest restaurant at at 5006 Northwest Highway, Route 14 near Pingree Road in Crystal Lake. Between 11 a.m. and 7 p.m., the public is invited to get a burrito or burrito bowl, plus a soft drink, for free. The official opening is Thursday. Hours are from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Opportunity Knocks

I met an interesting woman last weekend. We spoke at length about our testimonies and how God is working in our lives. This conversation made me do some deeper thinking over the course of the week. In the above photo, what do you see? A door? Ryan once told me a story that as kids they would look at a six-panel door and see a cross (the negative space of the top four panels) and the Bible (lower two panels).

God has been teaching me a lot about doors lately, especially how they are closely related to trust. When Ryan and I left Calumet in February, we not only created our own company, but we also joined a start up with several other former co-workers. In the past six months God has provided a roof over our head, food and enough money to pay the bills each month. It was stressful at times, especially the first of each month when the mortgage was due again and being hit with our first year of property taxes, but each time God provided payment from a previous job we had completed. Not to mention all the meals we've received from family, friends and neighbors. We are truly grateful that God loves us so much that He has promised to provide for us.

Matthew 6:25–34 [Do Not Be Anxious]
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Earlier in the month the start up we are a part of made a decision to terminate a relationship with a client. It was a difficult choice since none of us have full-time income and this project was enough to provide all of us with a salary and pay the rent for the office space. We felt that this wasn't what God had wanted for us and we closed the door.

Almost two weeks pass. We have some steady work, but still don't see any doors being opened. Then, slowly a ray of light exposes a crack in a new door. An opportunity to work for a large Christian publishing company, Zondervan, arrives. This is so perfect it's almost unbelievable. I was so excited that I almost experienced what tears of joy felt like, I could feel the Holy Spirit stirring my heart. All five team members of the start up are looking to be hired on with full-time benefits for Zondervan. We hope that everything will be finalized this week as we have a pretty big deadline ahead. I believe though, that with God on our side, all things are possible!

So what have I learned about doors? Well, they hurt if your fingers get caught as it closes. But most importantly, in order for a new door to be opened, I need to close the first one. And trust 100% that the Lord will open the next one at just the right time.